Life would be easier...

Life would be a lot easier if he didn't actually care about the kid.

But he does.

That's the problem.

~~~

There's an extra room in his apartment.

It's for his parents, if they decide to visit. Or for Diana when she just wants a place to relax. Or for Bruce-

Well, okay, not for Bruce.

He's rich enough he could probably buy the whole complex.

Anyway, there's a spare room.

Clark didn't give it much thought before.

But after?

He most definitely thought about it after.

That's how his life is now: Before and After.

~~~

Before was simple, easy. He was Clark Kent. He was Superman. He had a Ma and a Pa in Smallville. He had a not-girlfriend not-rival in Lois Lane (though that was tricky admittedly). He had friends in the league, and he was respected.

Now he has a kid.

He knows the people in the league are starting to lose respect for him.

He knows he would if the situations were reversed.

~~~

The first thing he does is buy a new bed.

A good one, that's sturdy, with a new mattress.

After that comes a bedspread. Blue, light blue, like the sky. (He's not going to let his kid be locked away again. Never again.) It's fluffy, and warm, and he wonders if Superboy will ever actually need it being part Kryptonian and all.

It can't hurt, right?

~~~

After that comes curtains. They're green.

~~~

He's technically not supposed to paint the walls in his apartment, leaving them a dingy gray-ish color.

He paints the window frame carefully, buying a new one to keep in the closet just in case the manager objects. Above the window he places some quote sticker things he found at the hardware store.

~~~

My soul is in the sky
Shakespeare, A Midsummer's Night Dream, Act V, scene i.

~~~

In the corner he's put a desk.

He's painted it white.

He wonders If the kid (his kid) will mind. From what he's heard, teenagers like darker colors (but his boy's barely a child).

~~~

There's a picture on the wall of Superboy ("Conner" Superman calls him in his mind, "Conner Kent"). It's placed so he can see it when he walks by the open door.

~~~

He wishes he had the courage to bring Conner home, to show him his room, and his bookshelf, and the dresser he has filled with clothing.

He preps and preps and preps the room, and says "this time I'll invite him", but everytime his guts clench and he can't.

He doesn't deserve to.

~~~

Black Canary (Dinah) comes over one day.

She must have gotten the address from Bruce.

She's there to yell at him, to hurt him for hurting her boy (not hers, his).

She walks by the door.

It's still open.

~~~

"His favorite color is blue, you know."

He's staring at her as she stares at the room.

"He wants you to be there for him, you know that, right?"

"I… I can't."

She turns, stares at him.

'I'm a horrible person, and I'd be a horrible father, and I can't expect him to forgive me for what I've done to him.' lie unspoken in the air.

"You idiot." She says. But it's almost fond. "Show him this. He'll forgive you."

He swallows. "He will?"

"Hell, I have."

~~~

There's been a mission debriefing. After the mission, Batman pulls Superboy to the side.

"There's been a change of plans. Go with Black Canary."

Superman's not there. Again. It shouldn't hurt so much but it does. Black Canary's leading him through a portal to… To…

To a room. There's a bed with a blue comforter, green curtains, a white desk, and a picture of him. Of Superboy.

Black Canary's left, leaving him gaping at the room.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be there earlier" a voice is saying and it's so familiar and different all at the same time. "The pie was still in the oven, I was hoping it would already be done, but…"

Superman's there. Dressed in casual clothing. There are glasses perched on his face, and he looks embarrassed.

"I didn't- I don't know your favorite colors. Um… If you want, I can get you new things. I mean, if you want to stay here. You don't have to. If you don't want to."

This is for him? For Superboy? "It's perfect" is all he says.

"I'm glad you like it. Now, I can't keep calling you Superboy… How do you feel about the name "Conner"? If you don't like it, that's fine too, I mean it's just a name, but I don't mind it, and if you already have something…"

He stops talking because Superboy is standing in front of him, and he looks like he's about to cry. Ah heck. Might as well, right?

He reaches down, and pulls Superboy into a hug.